


Murphy's Law

by TearsIMustConceal



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Community: HPFT, F/M, Harry Potter Next Generation, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Sarcasm, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-05-31 16:56:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6478423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TearsIMustConceal/pseuds/TearsIMustConceal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Murphy's Law is a well known precept that states that everything that can go wrong, most definitely will go wrong.</p><p>Pippa Murphy has all the bad luck in the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Murphy’s Law is a well known precept that states that everything that can go wrong, most definitely will go wrong.”

 

I found out the hard truth of this precept at a very young age and have been learning it ever since.

 

I was six when I first attempted to ride a bike. I had seen all the muggle children riding them outside on the street outside our house and decided that I wanted a bright blue one. My parents agreed and I got a bike for birthday, a shiny blue one and my dad acted like your standard proud dad, secretly glad I was interested in bikes rather than dolls.

 

He wouldn’t be proud for much longer, I can tell you that.

 

After helping me get the hang of it, my Dad eventually took the stabilisers off and let me go – if only I had realised early on that it was the stabilisers keeping me upright and not my amazing bike riding skills. I was fine at first; happily speeding down the path at what was a fast pace for a 6 year old, hair flying backwards in the wind and a big smile on my face. I didn’t notice next door’s tree until I went crashing into it. My dad reassured me that falling off happened all the time to first time riders – I was a little sceptical but I tried again regardless.

 

I brushed myself off and got back on. This time I missed the tree but ended up going head first into the bin at the end of the street. On my third and final attempt, I fell into a pond.

 

I never tried riding a bike again – it clearly wasn’t my forté in life.

 

After the bike incident, my Mum gave me a muggle set of colouring pencils and paper and told me to try drawing instead. It was a relatively safe hobby where not much could go wrong. Except for pencil snapping, paper ripping, stabbing yourself in numerous places, missing the paper and scratching Mum’s ancient mahogany table and last of all, paper cuts. A lot of paper cuts. My poor hands have never been the same.

 

Only I could turn drawing into a hazardous activity.

 

It was safe to say after that, I was banned from drawing – and also anything else that involved sharp and potentially dangerous objects. My parents believed that I was just having a run of bad luck and that it would end eventually.

 

They couldn’t have been more wrong.

 

In fact, it only got worse and soon enough, it got difficult to keep up with the number of times I had broken bones, shattered priceless urns and glasses and ended up causing a huge scene – all by accident.

 

Just to name a few of my unlucky mishaps;

 

Aged Seven – I was given a muggle candle making set, one that was for ages 5+ and nearly burnt the house down. This had been a bad idea the moment a muggle candle making set was put in my hands but I guess my mother's judgement wasn't the greatest back then. After ruining her favourite set of Laura Ashley curtains, she learned her lesson and I learned how valuable those curtains really were to her. 

Aged Nine – I went ice-skating with my parents. I ended up falling over, causing a domino effect of toppling children and broke my arm. Again, another poor judgement but this time from my Dad. He thought it would be wonderful for us as a family to go ice-skating (his muggle obsession just beginning to flourish) and see if it was as fun as muggles thought it was. It wasn't. Once I had finally learned to stand up on the ice, where I was reminiscent of a newborn giraffe trying to stand up for the first time, it took me all of 5 minutes to cause the huge accident which ended with me in St. Mungo's, drinking a disgusting potion to mend my broken arm.

Aged Ten – I went to muggle birthday party, was poked playing ‘pin the tail on the donkey’, hit someone when I was trying to hit a piñata, made the birthday girl cry and fell into the garden pond. This was an accident waiting to happen and I knew it the moment Mum and I walked into next door's back garden and spotted the pond. We should have turned around then, in fact, I wanted to but Mum was insistent I needed more friends. After being 'accidentally' poked playing 'Pin the tail on the donkey' (muggles played strange party games) by Billy Jones, I then went on to hit him square in the face with a bat whilst trying to hit the pinata, causing him quite the severe nosebleed. The last straw was when I ended up in the pond. My Mum dragged me out of there, practically by my pigtails and I was never invited around again. 

Aged Eleven – Arriving at Platform 9 ¾, I fell onto the train, walked into a carriage door and caused the sweet trolley to overturn. This was when I learned that I knew how to make an entrance and that first impressions really did stick for life. Getting through the barrier was surprisingly easy so you'd think stepping onto the train would be a doddle compared to that yet I was very wrong. I somehow managed to trip over thin air and ended up flat on my face in front of the whole Weasley-Potter clan. And if that wasn't bad enough, walking straight into a compartment door containing said Weasley-Potter clan and then in a panic, turning around too quickly and causing the nice old lady with the sweet trolley to fall over, her trolley quickly following. I don't think I have ever lived that first day down, not even after all these years.

 

It was quite clear that these events weren’t the isolated incidents my parents believed or perhaps hoped that they were and there were far too many for them to be classed as coincidences.

 

I, Pippa Marie Murphy, was simply a bad luck magnet. Bad luck followed me around like an evil puppy I couldn’t quite shake off my leg.

 

My luck never got any better at Hogwarts. In fact, it got predominantly worse. I won’t go into specifics but let’s just say I’m not allowed near the Astronomy Tower for my own safety, I have a note saying I am not allowed in any close contact with any magical creatures and I am most definitely not allowed in the potions ingredient cupboard.

 

There is nothing I can do that won’t end up in a trip to the Hospital Wing; for either me or those in close proximity. It is for that reason I am somewhat a social pariah at school. In general day to day life, everyone is lovely; I can have conversations with them, sit with them whilst we do our homework and eat with them in the Great Hall without there ever being too much of a problem.

 

However if there is something important happening, everyone keeps away from me like I have the bubonic plague.

 

Last year it was Hogwarts’ turn to host the Tri-Wizard tournament again. Scared I would seriously cause someone’s death – which was overly dramatic in my honest opinion – Headmistress Vector kept me away at the requests of the Heads of Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. It was quite obvious Vector had informed them of my ‘condition’.

 

The secret parties that the seventh year’s holds always remain a secret. Quidditch games were also a big no-no.

 

And because of these reasons, I lead quite the boring life at Hogwarts. Add that to the fact I’m in Hufflepuff and according the popular girls in school – I’m what you would call a loser.

 

Constance Stewart is the only constant - I couldn’t resist - in my life. And Dominique Weasley too, when she felt like it. Mad as hatter, it’s probably the only reason Connie befriended me in the first place. That and the fact she loves the trouble my bad luck causes. Constance is usually front row watching avidly as the events unfold, cheering me on like my own personal cheerleader.

 

Dom is the other nutter who also talks to me most days of the year. However, most of the time she is only looking for a story to add to the school paper. Either that or she is looking to get out of classes or a date she agreed to whilst drunk (it’s been known for Dom to seek me out and stay with me until I do something that ends up with her being hurt, thus making her unavailable for said dates). It’s then I get the would-be suitors shouting at me in the corridors about ruining their would-be ‘perfect’ night.

 

If only they knew the actual truth.

 

But anyway, those two are the only ones truly brave, or perhaps stupid enough, to approach me. Them and James Potter but he doesn’t count because he’s verging on becoming my own personal stalker so his attention isn’t welcomed. The only time the eldest Potter doesn’t bother me is in the run up to the Gryffindor Quidditch games. It’s my only relief from his constant attempts of flirting and ‘banter’ and is why I happily welcome the Quidditch Season.

 

So that’s my life in a most probably cracked nutshell.

 

It could be worse I guess.

 

I could be Peter Frogsbeard, a fellow Badger who panics every time he hears the croaking of a frog. He can’t even sit through Flitwick’s Frog Choir without fainting.

 

Or I could have the surname ‘Frogsbeard’.

 

Now that is bad luck.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

 

“Pip, have you been near my bed by any chance?” I bit my lip as I watched Connie search through her bedside table drawer. “Because I keep finding broken pieces of porcelain in and around my bed.” She finally looked at me, holding up a piece of the offending item, “I could swear this is from my jewellery box.”

“Maybe?” I answered and looked away from her accusing eyes, a move that instantly told her I was in fact guilty. I could feel Connie’s eyes on me and when I turned back to face her, her expression was one of disbelief.

I never was a good liar.

“Fine.” I sighed. “Yes, I was near your bed. I was looking for some mascara and I knocked your jewellery box onto the floor.”

“And you didn’t think to repair it?” Connie asked, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Which it was.

“The spell backfired on me.” I explained and looked away from her sheepishly. “and Imighthavebrokenyourfavouritecup.” I bit my lip and dared to look at the blonde stood before me.”

She furrowed her eyebrows, confusion etched on her face. “What? I didn’t hear a word of that.”

I sighed again and cleared my throat. “I said I might have broken your favourite cup.” A couple of minutes passed by in silence and I let out the huge breath I had been holding in. “Thank Merlin for that, I’ve been feeling guilty for weeks.”

Connie remained silent, eyes narrowed in my direction and it was then I realised that her lack of speech wasn’t because she didn’t care - it was because she was angry. Seeing the anger slowly contorting her features, I panicked.

“Now, don’t be angry! Anger is not considered a Hufflepuff trait, you know? We’re meant to be nice and calm.” I was babbling, the one defence I had against an angry Connie. If I could distract her with too much talking, she would end up forgetting what she was angry about eventually.

However, this moment was not of those times.

Luck was never on my side.

“Weeks? You broke all of this weeks ago?” Her voice was rising with each word and her nostrils were beginning to flare so I interrupted her.

“It couldn’t have really been your favourite cup, considering you didn’t notice it was missing.” Connie narrowed her eyes once more and I shrugged. “You know I’m right Con.”

She said nothing and turned her back on me. I took this as my chance to leave the dorm before she changed her mind and hexed me into oblivion. Carefully making my through the tunnels to the Common Room, I had just about reached the doorway when I tripped over thin air - of course I tripped - and landed flat on my face, my freshly ironed school skirt bunched around my waist. The sounds of laughter filled my ears as I pushed myself up off the ground and brushed off the dust.

I had long lost the ability to blush and with a sarcastic smile, I gave a bow to my fellow housemates before leaving the amused Common Room. Instantly smelling breakfast coming from the Great Hall, I headed across the floor and took my usual seat at the Hufflepuff table, happy for the relative emptiness as I decided what I wanted for breakfast.

I wasn’t alone for long, however as Dom glided over from the Ravenclaw table, taking the seat opposite me whilst I buttered my boring choice of toast. We sat there not speaking for almost two minutes before I gave into the silence. “What can I do for you Dom?”

“Why do you always assume I want sometime?” The blonde Weasley attempted a look of innocence, flicking her golden hair over her shoulder whilst I rolled my eyes.

Dominique Weasley always wanted something from somebody. This wasn’t to say she was a bad person - she was lovely on the inside it was just hidden deeply. She had mastered the art of trading secrets like a muggle would cigarettes and it was astounding what she could find out from only asking 6 people – she liked to call it ‘the six degrees of secrets’. The school paper, The Hogwarts Meddler, was somewhat of a joke amongst the student body ever since Victoire Weasley had graduated and left the paper. However Dom was adamant in making it hip and cool – Dom’s words, not mine – and to do this, she liked to be around when something spectacularly newsworthy happened - like the time she wrote an article on the summer James Potter lost his virginity. It was a big winner with the school population and Dom to this day still insists the detentions were worth it. Dom also had a habit of tailing me, so she could catch me in my next accident. I was in the paper that much that I even had my own column ‘Murphy’s Law’ – a column solely about me and my bad luck.

Dom was a bitch sometimes.

I sighed and cut my toast in half, wincing as I caught my thumb with the knife. “Because you always want something Dom. Now what is it?”

The blonde let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine, I was just wondering whether you had anything interesting for me yet. Any accidents? Unfortunate events? Something? Anything?”

I took a bite of my toast before answering Dom, who was eagerly awaiting my reply. “No, it’s barely Monday morning and it’s not even 9 o’clock yet. Give me a chance to let the bad luck kick in.” It was a lie but I really didn’t want to admit the accident that had only happened ten minutes ago.

“You must have something?” Dom was now eyeing my bleeding thumb. “I don’t believe you have to wait for you bad luck to ‘kick in’, as you put it.”

Narrowing my eyes at the persistent Weasley, who knew me better than I gave her credit for, I huffed in defeat, knowing I was beat. “Fine, I fell into the Common Room this morning and showed them all my underwear. Is that exciting enough?”

I watched on as Dom thought about it before standing up. “Nope, not nearly good enough. I’m afraid I need something spectacular! Showing your knickers is old school these days.” She left the bench and began heading back to the Ravenclaw table. I eyed her movements and when she stopped at the end of the Hufflepuff table and turned back to look at me, I waited with baited breath and a sinking feeling pooled in my stomach.

The girl was completely unpredictable and now I knew something was coming.

“I hope you were wearing clean knickers when you flashed everybody Pip.”

Dom’s voice echoed thought the Great Hall, which had gone deadly silent the moment she had started shouting. As the entire population of the room erupted into fits of laughter once they realised it was me she was talking about. I gave a smirking Dom the finger before stuffing the last of my toast in my mouth to distract me from the looks and the pointing.

See? The girl was unpredictable in the worst way.

And so, the cat calls began and the questions about what colour underwear I was wearing echoed around the hall. They were black but the whole school didn’t know that, did they? Most of the ‘banter’ as heckling and taunting was now known, came from the Gryffindor table and a mix of red and green ties. Leading the boyish banter was none other than James Potter and I watched with disgust as he mouthed a string of vulgar phrases with a lewd expression on his face.

James Potter was the bane of my life. He was around constantly making suggestive comments and slapping my arse every time I walked past him, a move that usually ended up with me attempting to hit him and falling on said arse in front of him and his mates. The only time he didn’t come near me was the run up to a Gryffindor match. It was the only time I didn’t curse my bad luck.

“Why is James Potter wiggling his eyebrows in your direction?” I felt Connie sit beside me and watched her arm reach across the table for some toast. “Or is that a stupid question?”

“Stupid question.” I mumbled in monotone voice. I was still watching James mouth phrases to me that would have my grandmother turning in her grave. “Dom told the entire Great Hall that I flashed my knickers this morning in the common room.”

Connie snorted and I rolled my eyes. “Typical Dom. Was it a story for the paper?” She paused to spread the disgusting Muggle marmite that she had stashed in her bag onto her toast. She then turned to me. “It’s true, isn’t it?”

“Do you even have to ask? I fell just as I left the tunnel and of course everyone was in there. I just bowed and walked out, concentrating on trying not to fall over again.” I sighed and finally looked to Connie, the last finger gesture at James enough to make him get the message. “Am I forgiven for the broken objects?”

I gave Connie my best puppy dog face and watched as she bit back a smile. “Sure, you were right, it wasn’t my favourite cup. But you are an idiot though.”

I blinked at her in disbelief. “This coming from the girl who asked me during the summer holidays what time the six o’clock news was on?” I couldn’t help but laugh at the memory. “You can’t call me an idiot when you come out with questions like that!”

“True.” She took a bite of her toast and I wrinkled my nose in disgust. “But anyway, to make it up to me, I need you to get this to Heston Morrison.”

Connie handed me a note and I took the piece of parchment. I was about to open it out of natural curiosity when she hit me on the hand with her marmite covered toast and I stopped immediately, too disgusted by the marmite currently on my hand to do anything else.

“You could have hit me with anything yet you chose to use that shit covered toast you call breakfast. There is just no need for that level of abuse.” I cleaned my hand with a napkin and picked up the note again, which had landed inches from the porridge bowl. “Fine, I’ll pass it on and I won’t read it.”

One of Connie’s unique traits was that she sent notes to boys - she refused to speak to them directly and instead, would sneakily leave notes in their pockets or get me and Dom to pass them on. If the boy in question tried to speak to her, she would ignore them and move on. However, if he replied by note and they were still talking after a month, she would finally go up to them and actually hold a conversation with them. Most girls refrain from putting out for a month – we all know those sort of girls, namely Mariah Fisher, the Slytherin broomstick– but dear old Connie refrains from verbal communication.

It was one of her weirder qualities.

“Good, I expect it delivered by lunch. I want to see how quickly he responds.” I watched as she sent a sickeningly sweet smile at Heston, who was beaming right back at her. I shook my head. “We only have three days to go before we can talk.”

“Wow, I’m made up for you Con.” I took a bite from my new slice of toast. “You can finally act like a normal human being and have an actual conversation with him. Who would have thought it, ey?”

I flinched as Connie hit me on the arm, causing me to knock over my goblet of pumpkin juice all over my skirt. “Gee, thanks for that Con.” I grabbed a napkin off the table and began to mop my skirt up before Connie whipped out her wand.

“Scourgify.” I glared as Connie gave me a smug smile. “You really need to learn how to use your wand. You are at a magic school after all.”

I shook my head. “Things happen when I use my wand. Bad things.” I thought back to a particularly disastrous Charms lesson last year and shuddered. “I’m destined to live like a muggle.”

“That I would like to see.” Connie scoffed and rubbed her hands together, having finished the last of her toast. “Come on, we need to get to classes.”

I sighed but followed Connie’s lead and stood up. I carefully stepped over the bench but it never mattered how carefully I did something because I still ended up on the floor. Or in this case, nearly as Connie grabbed my arm before I went down.

“Thanks.” I gave her a sheepish grin before we left the hall. “What do we have?”

“Transfiguration. Who are you going to turn into a rat today? Well half a rat anyway?” Connie was smirking and I gave her a quick glare before concentrating walking up the stairs, slowly weaving in and out of first years who clearly hadn’t heard of my curse yet and were blocking my way. Usually the crowd on the stairs parted like the red sea when they saw I was coming.

“Ha ha, very funny Constance.” At this, the smirk left Connie’s face. She hated being called by her full name. I laughed loudly. “Are you going to be good now?” She gave a curt nod. “Good now come on before we’re late.”

+++

Ten minutes later and we were sat in the Transfiguration classroom, comfortably placed in the middle - not quite cool enough for the back but nowhere near nerdy enough for the front. Those benches were reserved for the Ravenclaw’s that weren’t like Dom.

“Wands out please.” The monotone vocals of Professor Ravenscroft reached everyone’s ears and there was a collective groan as we as we were told. “Today we will be turning your goblets into birds.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Connie blanch in horror and although I smirked, I shared her worry. I had two worries, actually. The first was that there was a serious chance of me harming Connie whilst she was sat next to me. And the second? I was completely petrified of birds. At the mere mention of the word ‘bird’ and I felt my heart pound. I put my hand up.

“Yes Miss Murphy?” Professor Ravenscroft was already sighing and I hadn’t even told her my problem.

“I’m afraid of birds Professor. In fact, I have a phobia of birds. I have Ornithophobia.” Somewhere in this explanation, I had stood up and I was now leaning against the desk. “I am an Ornithophobic and I am proud!” I thumped my fist on the desk and beside me, Connie began to cheer in support.

The classroom erupted into laughter and I watched as Professor Ravenscroft sighed again.

“Settle down class.” The room took its time but eventually quietened down. Still standing, I gave the Professor a hopeful look but I was greeted with an unimpressed expression. “Sit down Miss Murphy. You’re causing a disturbance.”

“But Professor, I’m scared of birds. I’m an Ornit-“ I didn’t get to continue as I was cut off by the stern woman.

“Yes, I think we all know that you are Ornithophobic but I don’t think that has any relevance here.”

I frowned. “Of course it does, this lesson will have birds in it.” How was the woman a Professor if she couldn’t work out things of relevance?

“Are you going to continue to disrupt my class before it has even stated?” Professor Ravenscroft was now glaring at me.

“I’m not disrupting it though. I’m trying to get you to see that I would disrupt it later on when the room is filled with birds. If you just listened then yo-“ My rambling was cut off once again by the Professor.

“Miss Murphy, please leave my classroom.”

I sighed but gathered up my things. “Where should I go?”

The Professor looked uninterested as she eyed me and she shrugged in an un-teacher like fashion at my question. “I don’t know, the Owlery maybe?”

The class sniggered and I rolled my eyes as I left the room, shooting Connie a smile before I disappeared out of view.

With my bag on my shoulder, I glanced at the deserted corridor before making my way down it, strolling happily and basking in my newly found Monday morning freedom. Deciding the common room was the best place to go, I carefully skipped down the stairs to the first floor. However, I wasn’t careful enough and I knew I had stood on the trick step the moment my foot sank. My leg buckled and I felt myself hurtling down the stairs, landing in a heap at the bottom.

“I thought you didn’t like me but now that you’re falling at my feet, my hope is restored.” I groaned as the smug and amused voice of James Potter reached my ears. “Here, let me help you up.”

I saw a hand in front of my face and I reluctantly took it, letting James help me onto my feet. Straightening out my skirt, I looked up to James, who was smirking at me and I tried to smile politely but I knew it was more of a grimace.

“Thank you for helping me up.” After another attempt at a smile, I began walking away when I heard James clear his throat.

“Forgetting something?”

I turned in annoyance, about to tell him to leave me alone when I saw a piece of parchment in his hand. My hand flew to my shirt pocket in a panic, feeling for Connie’s note and it was then I realised James was holding it in his hand.

“Give that back. It’s not yours.” I took a step forward and made a grab for it but James moved backwards and held the note out of reach.

“No. Let’s read what it says, shall we?” he smirked and opened the note tauntingly in front of me.

The boy was a douche.

I watched on, helpless to stop him. Praying Connie hadn’t written anything that could be perceived as encouraging, my hopes were dashed the moment James grinned.

“I would love to go to take you to Hogsmeade. I’ll meet you outside in the Courtyard at eleven o’clock.” My eyes widened and James just smirked, “I knew you would give in eventually.” I was frozen in complete shock and watched as he walked away, parchment still in his hand. “I’ll see you Saturday Pippa.”

He disappeared up the stairs and it was then I regained all use of my body. Walking in the opposite direction, I tried to comprehend what had just happened.

I was now going to Hogsmeade with James Potter and the worst thing was that he thought I had asked him out.

I used to think getting out of classes was a good thing but now, I vow to stay in every class, birds or no birds. Between a date with James Potter and a classroom of birds……

…..I would quite frankly rather take the birds.


	3. Chapter Three

"For Merlin's sake,"

I felt myself tumble to the ground, knees hitting the castle's stone floor hard, the impact causing me to close my eyes automatically. The pain shot through my body almost instantly, immobilising me for a minute before I felt I could move again.

"Are you alright?"

I looked up, opening my eyes to see Albus Potter standing over me, hand outstretched for me to take. "Yes, thanks." I reached for his hand, letting him pull me up, a small blush on my face. I smiled and began dusting down my skirt, trying to hide the redness of my cheeks, which seemed to appear every time Albus was around.

You see, I didn't fancy James. Yes, he was attractive, it was something I didn't deny but I, Pippa Murphy, had an almighty crush on Albus Severus Potter, a fact that only Connie knew and something I was very happy to stay between the two of us.

"Can you ever stay on your feet?" Albus asked, small smile on his face.

I shook my head, praying to Merlin that my severe redness had settled and merely looked like I had blusher on. "No, I actually can't remember a day where I haven't fallen over something. It's a talent."

Albus laughed lightly, fixing his glasses, which were slipping down his nose. "So, I heard you're going to Hogsmeade with my brother."

I groaned loudly. "So I didn't dream that? It was an honest mistake, the note was Connie's, for Heston bloody Morrison, not James. I swear, I'm never going to live it down and I know he will never let me get out of it. Even if I came down with Dragon Pox, he'd still make me go with him."

"Yeah, his obsession is a little scary. I think Dad had a word with him at one point."

I was about to reply, eyes wide at the thought of the Harry Potter actually knowing about his son's obsession with me, when the nasally voice of Mariah Fisher floated into the corridor, signalling her arrival for Charms.

"Oh look, there she is, snaring yet another of the eligible bachelors of the school. Isn't one Potter enough, Pippa?" I rolled my eyes as she almost sneered at me before batting her eyes in Albus' direction. "But it's not like you're interested in her, is it Al? After all, she's been claimed by your brother."

"I haven't been claimed by anyone, thank you very much." I shot back, arms now folded across my chest.

At this, Mariah's face lit up. "So does that mean James is free and single and proud, like the majestic lion he is?" The blonde was now practically swooning, Tara Edgerton, her follower, almost propping her up.

"Yes it does. I'm sure he'll be thrilled to know you're interested in him. Shall I put in a good word for you tomorrow?" I replied, my sarcasm loud enough to cause Albus to laugh behind me, before coughing to cover it up.

"You would do that?" Mariah was now standing in front of me, inches away from my face, her blindingly white teeth giving me a headache. "You're such a good friend Pippa."

My eyes widened as she continued to smile at me and I quickly glanced at Albus, who was holding back a snigger. It was in this moment that Mariah confirmed the age old stereotype that blondes were...well, not so clever. That's not to say this was true about all of blondes obviously, but as I stared at the one in front of me, I couldn't help but want to shake my head.

"I was jok-" Mariah didn't let me finish as she walked into the Charms classroom, Tara close behind her. "Oh Merlin, did that just happen?"

I felt Albus standing beside me, and his hand came down on my shoulder. "Oh yes, it really did. I think that means you're best friends now." I elbowed him hard in the ribs and he groaned. "Okay maybe not best friends. Yet."

I shook my head and headed inside, Albus behind me. Taking my usual seat at the back of that class, at the request of Flitwick himself, I took out my quill and wand and placed them down on the desk, pushing them away from me because I could guarantee Flitwick would tell me that I didn't need to practice any spells today, like most days in Charms.

"Don't you need them?" Albus asked, and I turned to see him in Connie's usual seat. "Your quill and wand, I mean?"

I shook my head, ignoring the blush that was forming once again as I realised he was sitting next to me. Connie was going to have a field day with this when she walked in.

"No, Flitwick doesn't like me using my wand in here. He says I remind him to much of one of his former students, Seamus Finnigan I think his name was. I tend to blow things up when I use my wand." My blush deepened when Albus began laughing.

"Ahh, Seamus. He still blows things up now. Dad says he's a master demolitions man. He's now in charge of the fireworks during the Quidditch World Cup's."

I smiled and was about to reply when Connie walked in, stopping short as she realised her seat was taken. Giving me a pointed look, I offered her a shrug and an apologetic smile as she breezed past me to sit one row down from me, turning around as she took her seat, eyes practically burning a hole in my forehead.

"Oh wow, that's amazing." I offered distractedly to Albus, before Flitwick walked in, flinching as he saw me and shaking his head as he continued on towards his desk.

"Today class, we shall be learning to Silencing Charm, Silencio. If you would turn to page 54 in your textbooks and begin reading and taking notes." The class began opening their pages, wands in hand but I stalled, only opening my textbook. "Miss Murphy, there will be no need for a wand in this lesson, we will work with your wand in a private lesson."

I nodded and sunk into my chair, blushing as all attention was on me, sniggers and smirks filling my ears from every direction and I wanted to disappear. I was at Hogwarts for Merlin's sake, you'd think it would have learnt to swallow people by now.

+++

"So what's going on with you and Albus?" Connie asked as she sat herself down opposite me at my table. I was in the corner of the library, furthest away from Madame Pince, so she couldn't make me leave, simply for breathing. She'd use any excuse.

I shook my head. "Nothing, he helped me up when I tripped this morning, and then he sat down next to me. I couldn't tell him to move, he's Albus Potter."

Connie rolled her eyes. "So? He could be Albus bloody Dumbledore for all I care, he sat in my seat. The seat I've had since 1st year. I'm not happy."

"It was a one off, I promise." I picked apart the muffin I'd grabbed from the Great Hall. "But on a different note, did you know that I am now putting in a good word for Mariah tomorrow when I go to Hogsmeade with James. We're great friends now, apparently."

Connie snorted, earning a huff from Madame Pince, as well as glares from the Claws sitting at the next table. "And how did this unfortunate event happen? My guess is you were being sarcastic and the dumb blonde took it seriously?"

I went to laugh, amazed at how well she knew me, but coughed instead, almost choking on a piece of muffin that went down the wrong way. Connie quickly hit me on the back, before I caused a scene and got us both kicked out.

"Merlin's left testicle, Pip. Even food is a hazard to you. Maybe you should stick to a liquid diet." Connie shook her head.

"I could still probably manage to choke somehow on liquidised food Con, I'm clearly just destined to live a short, unfulfilled life before I kick the cauldron from some serious accident." I replied, opening another text book on potions.

"Well I hope you don't kick the cauldron before our date tomorrow." I rolled my eyes and groaned as the voice of James Potter. "Because I'd be devastated."

Turning around, I raised an eyebrow as I looked at him. "Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world." The sarcasm in my voice was unmissable.

"I knew you'd change your tune. See you tomorrow Pip, does 12 sound good to you? Yeah? Good, I'll see you then." I watched as he walked off, his mates following, winking at Connie and I as they looked back one last time before leaving the library.

"Am I not sarcastic enough? Or am I just dealing with stupid people?" I sighed as I closed the text book again, my mood for doing homework gone, not that it was particularly there in the first place.

"Stupid people Pip, stupid people. But it wouldn't hurt to be a little more sarcastic, put a bit more effort into it." Connie replied, standing up and grabbing her parchment. "Come on, it's Friday night. There are more fun things we could be doing than homework."

I silently agreed, reaching for my bag from under the table. "Like what exactly?" I asked, rolling my eyes for the 3rd time that evening – us Puff's were not exactly known for outrageous ability to have fun.

"Like eating chocolate and taking the piss out of Laura Thomas' attempt at a singing career? I have gotten my hands on a demo. I secretly uploaded it from Wade's WandPad to mine before term started."

Wade, Connie's older brother had been dating Laura Thomas, Dean Thomas' daughter since before they left Hogwarts and Connie always had the inside scoop on their relationship and Laura's attempts to be famous. Originally she had wanted to be a dancer, and then it was an actress. Now it was a singer and I couldn't wait to hear what she had recorded.

"Yes please." I linked arms with Connie as we made our way out of the library, sniggering loudly, earning us a 'shoo' from Madame Pince, who followed us to the doors to  
make sure we left her silent haven for good.

+++

"I am not dressing up for James Potter. I don't even want to go out with James Potter. He's going to take me as I am - dressed in my most scruffiest clothes, clothes that should never leave the house, and he will lump it or he can bugger off."

I huffed loudly as I bounced onto my bed, arms folded across my chest, glaring at a smirking Connie, who was currently putting lashings of mascara on, ready for her date with Heston. "Dressing like a slob is not going to put him off so I don't understand why you would put yourself through looking like," She turned to me, pulling a face. "...that if it's not going to help your cause."

Rolling my eyes, I threw the nearest cushion I could reach in Connie's direction, knocking her arm and causing her to smudge her mascara. "You deserve that." I told her when she went to shout at me and she sighed.

"Okay, so calling you a slob and judging your clothes was mean, but I just want you to look nice for you."

"No, you want me to look nice because at some point today, you're going to want to find me and make me join your date because you've ran out of things to say or he's doing your head in." I stood up, putting on my shoes. "And by the way, what you said was something Mariah would say to me. Are you sure you're not secretly friends with her?"

"That was harsh Pip, I said I was sorry!" I heard her shout as I closed the dorm room behind me, nearly tripping up as a first year came rushing past. Steadying myself, I took a deep breath and left the common room, making my way out to the courtyard, where I was meant to meet James at 12.

Standing by the fountain, I scuffed my trainers in the dirty ground, the dust kicking up and floating away in the air as the light breeze carried it off.

"Pip, you still remember what you said you'd do for me today, don't you?" Mariah Fisher appeared from nowhere and was now stood in front of me, towering over me in skyscraper heels. "You pretty much promised me and now that we're friends, friends help each other out, don't they?"

Holding back the inevitable eye roll I always seemed to do whenever Mariah was around, I smiled and nodded. "Of course, we're friends now. I'll put in the best word for you with James."

Before I could blink, the blonde had pounced on me, squeezing me tightly in a way that I wasn't too sure was actually friendly.

"Thank you Pip, see you in Hogsmeade."

She gave a little wave before tottering off with Tara and I watched with a smirk on my face as her ankle buckled on the cobbled ground, causing her to grab Tara with such force, Tara went flying face first.

It was nice for once to see someone else falling to floor instead of me.

"Was that Mariah making sure you were keeping your word? And also looking like a giraffe on stilts in front of everyone?"

I felt Albus standing behind me, my back suddenly hot and I could feel my cheeks flush. Without turning around and taking my eyes off the scene in front of me, I answered him. "Of course, she was very insistent. Played the friend card a few times, too."

He laughed and I could feel his breath on my exposed neck, my hair up in a small ponytail. "I thought she would. She's been telling everyone in the common room that she'd be dating James by the end of the month, thanks to you."

I blanched, finally turning around but as I did, my foot scuffed the floor and I felt myself falling, until Albus caught me, his strong arms holding me up. Blushing even more, I jumped back from him and coughed. "Erm, thank you. But Merlin, so the whole of Slytherin now think I'm helping her with her love life?"

"Whose love life?"

Albus and I turned around to see James, running a hand through his hair.

"Oh no one, just some random girl in Slytherin, that's all." Albus replied, putting his hands in his pockets and backing away. "Anyway, I'm meeting Scorpius and Rose so I'll see you two later."

He nodded to James in what I could only think was some manly goodbye and he disappeared into the crowds, leaving James and I alone for the first time since the incident that caused this date happened.

"So, where do you want to go first?" I asked, trying to diffuse the awkwardness that had come over us. I might not have wanted to go with him but I sure as hell didn't want my whole afternoon to be spent in uncomfortable silences. "Maybe Honeydukes and then onto the Three Broomsticks for a drink? As long as we don't go anywhere near Madame Puddifoot's, I'm fine with anywhere."

"You don't want to go to Madame Puddifoot's?" James asked, looking taken aback at my outburst, like it unnatural for me to ever speak those words. "I thought every girl wanted to go to Madame Puddifoot's?"

I laughed a little at his face, which held a look of confusion and then I shook my head. "Not all of us like pink confetti and cherubs flying around our heads, believe me. I'd rather get a butter beer in the Three Broomsticks and laugh at every 7th year get knocked back when they order a fire whiskey."

I watched as he smiled and relaxed, finally looking like the James I was used to seeing around Hogwarts. "Thank Merlin for that. Now come on, we should go."

I nodded and we headed off together, more comfortable than 5 minutes ago and I couldn't help but think today might not be as bad as I was fearing.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I only own Pippa, Constance and other characters you don't recognise. JK owns the rest.


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